Architects Converge on National Mall; Protest Incomprehensibly

In a colossal feat of organization, over 300,000 architects recently converged to protest on the National Mall in Washington, D.C. While undoubtedly the most stylish protest in recent years, the actual purpose of the event remains unclear.

Ostensibly sparked by the publication of a new manifesto by French theorist Grand Cerveau Francophone titled "The End of the Beginning of the First Third", the protest raged for nearly three hours before architects began to settle into nearby coffee shops to look pensive and smoke.

In his manifesto, Monsieur Francophone claims that "the physical matter of architecture trangresses postcolonial social idioms, transposing an ontological condition where the existence of the architect as a being comes into question."

It remains unclear exactly how this claim could spark a protest of this magnitude, largely because most analysts have no idea what it means. However, in a profession founded on an impenetrable and nonsensical vernacular, it has had quite an impact.

"I'm really against not existing." explained one brooding architect as she frantically sketched an inspiring mullion detail on a nearby Starbucks.

Another architect, principal of the well known firm "hppRthanTHouarchitecture" and reknown designer of hundreds of unbuilt projects, offered his own explanation for the protest. "Well, of course we're here to transgress deterministic positivists, in the hopes that our latent post-humanist tendencies will generate whimsical penetrations in our posteriors."

While explanations like these strangely inspire a sense of nausea, they do use many "designy" buzzwords. This alone appears to be adequate to work this 300,000 strong crowd of sketching divas into a tizzy, however they shed little light for the everyman.

"Just when I think I understand their point," said one bystander, "they begin 'transgressing the metanarratives' and I'm lost again. Man, I'm a dumbass!"

Eminent linguist and social scientist, Dr. Len Guistic commented on the difficulty of understanding the purpose of this protest. "Many professions have specialized languages, commonly referred to as jargon. While at best, jargon is a kind of shorthand for the efficient exchange of complex information within a field, it can become a crutch that enables practitioners to acquire the guise of professional competence while in effect simply masking the sad reality that they are fundamentally inept. In this form jargon becomes a profound form of institutionalized bullshit."

Apparently, architectural jargon goes a long way toward bewildering professional outsiders. According to Dr. Guistic, the insiders may be just as confused. After today's protest, this sad possibility is brought into sharp focus.